Another rampant violation of God’s law among believers is the sin of unforgiveness. An unforgiving spirit can occur as a result of abandonment, rejection, hurt, pride, anger, unresolved conflict, jealousy, envy, covetousness, sensitivity, abuse (physical, verbal or sexual) just to name a few. The sense of being wronged, warranted or not, seems to be the main root. Once anyone makes the decision not to forgive there is conception which “gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James 1:5

We all know of relationships where unforgiveness is harbored and the love that two people expressed for one another has died. No amount of reasoning with them to forsake their sin has prevailed. For, you see, when one has built up a justification for his attitude in his mind, he has entrenched the belief that he has a right to feel the way he does. A callousness of indifference sets in that hardens the heart and he is truly taken captive by the “deceitfulness of sin”. Unknowingly that person has fallen short of the grace of God, with the “root of bitterness springing up causing trouble and by this many become defiled”. Hebrews 12:14-15
I wonder how many have said the Lord’s prayer without taking note of “forgive us our trespasses AS WE forgive those who trespass against us…Mat. 6:12 And further on we read, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. BUT, if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Mt 6:14-15 In other words; what you have sowed in your heart, unforgiveness, resulting in anger and bitterness toward another, will be reaped in your own heart. You have opened the door to receive the same emotion you poured out on another causing all types of emotional and physical cancers of the soul and body. And God, who wants the best for you, would heal your broken heart and set you free if only you would repent of this murderous sin. Isaiah 61:1
Let us look at Ephesians 4:30-32; “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.” How do we do this? Paul tells us in verse 31; “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.” That would require repentance. “And, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Is it possible that you can be free from the bitter spirit of unforgiveness that has calloused over from wounds of the past? Oh, Yes! God’s grace is sufficient to help you. A writer of fiction, Flannery O’Conner, wrote; “Grace must wound before it may heal.” For you see, the pains and wounds of the past have hardened, and you must understand the knife of the spirit of conviction must lance your calloused sin of unforgiveness before healing will manifest itself in your life.
You ask how this is done. Start by listing those you have unforgiveness towards. Then, make a list of their offenses against you. Follow that up by your response to their wrongdoings. Then take each person on your list and ask God to forgive you for not forgiving them. Follow this up by forgiving them. Then you will experience the softening of your heart towards those who wronged you and the love of God ministering to your wounded spirit from past hurts and abuses.
I challenge you to get with God and begin forgiving those you have anything against. Then, write or email us and let us know what God has done as a result of your obedience to Him. May our God richly bless you.